So...where to begin. Lets start with conviction, because that's where I feel God has me. Right in the middle of conviction, the pits and the hard days of life.
There is no way to get all up to date on our lives for the past few months so I wont even try. I will say that's its been some tough weeks for us. We have dealt with so much sickness, so much exhaustion, so many challenges and kind of feeling at a place of "when do things get better?"
I stress about the fact that I dont get on my blog more often and write about life--but in the next breath, I wonder if any one really wants to HEAR about what Real life is like. The grandparents just want to hear about Austin and his new vocabulary; friends just want to know how great life is and any one else...well i dont know what they want to know! But lately I have been having day dreams ( day dreams you say, who has time to day dream? Oh that would be me as I nurse Austin for over an hour trying to get him to sleep each night!)
Anyways--back to my day dreams...I day dream about blogging about the things that make up our life---of course that includes Austin's fun little adventures and new things ( like his two new words for this week--light and "doh" which is supposed to be "go", which actually means "Come with me!") but that also means about things like my latest doula client or birth, or about Shea's newest hobby, or about all the great things I am learning in the nutrition books I am reading, or about the new challenges we are facing, or about how life is really tough for us, or...well you get the picture.
But it always comes back to two things--the first one is time....the time I have to just "hang out and blog" is little. I am raising a family, I am working two part time jobs and I am doing things like teaching a doula workshop or giving baby showers....it leaves such little time to blog and I just hate that!
The second thing is what to write...as most of you know, i am a pretty darn transparent person. Life is too short to not be ourselves, which means to me---just be honest about things. Problem is that some people are really not that comfortable with such honesty and therefore think you are crazy, depressing, or "telling too much."
Other problem is that often times when things get tough for us, I just want to hole up and get quiet--not talk to any one, not tell any one, just retreat. The main reason I do this is for protection I think...and out of exhaustion. Its not good-- I know that...but thats still what I do!
Which leads me back to my conviction. Conviction to make this blog about more than Austin and his fun antics or only about how "great life is"... Life is good most of the time, but there are those times when our "Blessed life" feels a bit worn, tattered and frayed and I want to blog about those. I dont want to loose sight of our blessings--because I know they are many, but I also want to be real...because REAL life is what we are living in.
I pray God will allow me more time to spend on here and share about life. Guess we'll see! First Austin has got to get better, I have got to get caught up on work and Shea and I have got to spend some time together!!Until then.... check out a few of the pics I took over the last month...trust me, its not many!
Our first dinner outside for 2009. It was 85 degree's this day. Unfortunately Austin was so distracted by eating outside--that he hardly touched his dinner! Thats ok--Shea and I ate while he played in the yard!
At the Zoo last week!
Vacuuming in his little butt flap PJ's--love these things!!
4 comments:
Lesley, I agree about wanting to see blogs being 'REAL'! A lot of them seem candy-coated, only focusing on the great things, like that is all life is about. You said it well when you said you want to focus on blessings (we all have so many), but also to paint a realistic picture - things aren't always great all of the time. Appreciate your honesty!!
Right on sister...bring on the realness!
I've struggled with some of those same thoughts. Thanks for putting it out there.
Even though there are other barriers (like having enough time or being able to put coherent sentences together...,) one thing that helps me with this is:
It is MY blog. I can say what I want. If you don't like it, don't freaking read it. If you don't want to hear what I want to say, then I'm not talking to you.
Which is true, right? You want to say real things to people who want to hear real things. Maybe that limits your audience, but it gives you the audience you want.
Aw'rite...Uncle Pat here again with just a tidbit of crusty old man input. "Analysis Paralysis" yep, that's where you're gonna get yourself cornered. If you try to get all the little things in the box first, the big things wont fit right...if you put the big things first, then the little things just settle right in.
Not that it's always worked that way for me nor would I over analyize anything, but you'll get from point A to point B in your own way and in your own time.
Love y'all always,
Uncle Pat
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